Competition?

Well I Am In Fact Interested In A New Girl, No Surprise Right? XD But This One Seems Different, No Idea If She Is, All I Can Do Is Hope I Don't Get Fucked Over, Ya Know? But Something Interesting Came To My Attention, She Is Not Only Interested In Me, Thats Not The Interesting Part, It's That There Is This Kid Named Ben And Everyone Says We Look So Much Alike, We Don't Think So, But She Is Also Interested In Him, So My Look Alike Is Also My Competition. I Think I Am A Better Choice, Not Cuz I'm Better Or Anything, But I Think I Would Make A Better Match For This Girl. We Got Drunk The Other Night, And She Was Kinda Ignoring Me, And When She Wasn't She Was Being Rude, So I Left Early, Come To Find Out She Thought I Was Ignoring Her, WTF? lol So To Make It Up To Her I Come Over The Next Night To Party More, Me My Buddy Marcial And My Cousin Brandon Head Over There, Its Like A 2 Hour Walk, And We Are Bringing A Back Pack Of Smirnoff And Shampagne. XD Marcial Also Bought Some Malt Liquor, We Get There And Its Only Her And Marrisa, Which Is Cool. I Take One Look At Her And Notice The Whole Right Side Of Her Neck Is Battered Like A Vaccum Attacked Her. Kind Of A Downer, But I Let It Go And Still Party With Em. I Bring It Up Later And Of Course It Was Ben, She Made Some Excuse Or Something About Falling Asleep lol. But Then Later On I Come Rigth Out And Say, "Hey I Totally Dig You" And Then I Kiss Her. We Kiss For A Little Bit, And She Is Pretty Cool And Straight Up So She Says, " I Want To Be Honest Because I Think It Would Be Fucked Up To Lie, So I Am Into You, But I'm Into Ben To." I'm Not To Worried About It, I Mean I Am A Lot More
Spontanious, But Maybe She Is Into The Boring Shy People. lol. But Yeah Idk, Just Had To Get That Off My Chest. :] I Mean I Dig Her Pretty Hard, And She Is Hella Badass, And I Am Pretty Sure We Would Be A Good Match. Lets Hope She Figures That Out And Wants Me, It Would Make Me Smile Real Big. lol. She Has The Prettiest Eyes I Have Ever Seen, No Not Just Saying That Cuz I Like Her, I Mean They Are Ridiculously Beautiful, And So Is She. We Have Like The Exact same Taste In Music. And Pretty Sure We Both Decided That The Guitarist For All Time Low, Is The Hottest Due To His Hair. lol.

Another Sleepless Night...

Yep, No Sleep For Me. :/ I Think God Hates Me. lol So I Decided That My Grandmother Is Completely Insane. I Swear To God, Not Only Is She An Alcoholic, But Also An Addict The The Gambling. She Gets Drunk And Goes Crazy Over Stupid Ridiculous Shit, Anywhere From Me Telling Someone Not To Eaves Drop On Me To Me Saying The Name Of A Movie And Her Thinking It's Me Being Rude To Fat People. XD I Get Kicked Out Every Other Week, Not Like It Really Matters, I Am Never Home In The First Place, I Go Home To Shower, That's It. But She Gets Mad At Me For Not Cleaning The House Or Doing The Dishes Ect. But I Am Not There To Dirty Anything, Should I Have To Clean Up After Everyone Else? I Don't Think So. I Help Her When She Needs Help Around The Yard Or Moving Something, But I Wont Clean Up After Disgusting People That Can't Clean Up After Themselves. If I Make A Mess I Clean It, Everyone Else Should Pick Up After Themselves To. She Also Expects Me To Get Up At 7am And Help Her Do Shit, Or Just To Be Up For That Matter, And She Doesn't Realize That The Only Time I Get Sleep Is During The Day, Idk Why, So She Gets All Pissy, But I Dont Get To Sleep Until 7.

I Sit Here And Realize...

My Life Is Going To Waste. I Have Potential I Do, But For Some Reason I Won't Live Up To It. Maybe It's Because I'm Scared To Be Like Everyone Else? Or Maybe Its Because I Feel As If I Don't Do Anything With Life, Then I Can't Fail...? I Am Sick Of Being No Body, I Wanna Go Places. I Don't Want To Die A No One, I Want To Die Someone People Will Remember For Years. I Mean, I Dropped Out Of High School, I Have No Job, I Live With My Grandmother And I Am In An Unsuccessful Band. Nothing Looks Up, I Try And Stay Positive But Why? Who Am I Wearing This Fake Smile For? It Hurts My Face To Wear Such A Mask Everyday. I Don't Want It To Be Fake, It Just Is, Trust Me I Wish That One Day I Could Take Off This Mask To Realize That Underneath The Mask Is A genuine Smile, Now That Would Make My Day. But For Now I Live In Wonderland Of Sorts, Created To Keep Me Smiling, One Day I Will Find The White Rabbit And It Will Tell Me Where To Go, I Will Get Out And Realize Everything Is Perfect.... :/

I Is New To This...

I Am New To The Blogging, So Here It Goes. I Started One Of These Things To Kill Time When I Can't Sleep, Which Is All The Time Sadly Enough, I Honestly Think It Might Kill Me One Day. I Finally Slept Tonight, From Midnight To Five AM. Woo!! Go Me. People Tell Me Its All In My Head, Or That I Have My Nights And Days Mixed Up, But It's More Than That, I Honestly Just Can't Sleep, Regardless Of How Hard I Try. :/ Well There Is The First, Expect More?