Another Sleepless Night...

Yep, No Sleep For Me. :/ I Think God Hates Me. lol So I Decided That My Grandmother Is Completely Insane. I Swear To God, Not Only Is She An Alcoholic, But Also An Addict The The Gambling. She Gets Drunk And Goes Crazy Over Stupid Ridiculous Shit, Anywhere From Me Telling Someone Not To Eaves Drop On Me To Me Saying The Name Of A Movie And Her Thinking It's Me Being Rude To Fat People. XD I Get Kicked Out Every Other Week, Not Like It Really Matters, I Am Never Home In The First Place, I Go Home To Shower, That's It. But She Gets Mad At Me For Not Cleaning The House Or Doing The Dishes Ect. But I Am Not There To Dirty Anything, Should I Have To Clean Up After Everyone Else? I Don't Think So. I Help Her When She Needs Help Around The Yard Or Moving Something, But I Wont Clean Up After Disgusting People That Can't Clean Up After Themselves. If I Make A Mess I Clean It, Everyone Else Should Pick Up After Themselves To. She Also Expects Me To Get Up At 7am And Help Her Do Shit, Or Just To Be Up For That Matter, And She Doesn't Realize That The Only Time I Get Sleep Is During The Day, Idk Why, So She Gets All Pissy, But I Dont Get To Sleep Until 7.

I Sit Here And Realize...

My Life Is Going To Waste. I Have Potential I Do, But For Some Reason I Won't Live Up To It. Maybe It's Because I'm Scared To Be Like Everyone Else? Or Maybe Its Because I Feel As If I Don't Do Anything With Life, Then I Can't Fail...? I Am Sick Of Being No Body, I Wanna Go Places. I Don't Want To Die A No One, I Want To Die Someone People Will Remember For Years. I Mean, I Dropped Out Of High School, I Have No Job, I Live With My Grandmother And I Am In An Unsuccessful Band. Nothing Looks Up, I Try And Stay Positive But Why? Who Am I Wearing This Fake Smile For? It Hurts My Face To Wear Such A Mask Everyday. I Don't Want It To Be Fake, It Just Is, Trust Me I Wish That One Day I Could Take Off This Mask To Realize That Underneath The Mask Is A genuine Smile, Now That Would Make My Day. But For Now I Live In Wonderland Of Sorts, Created To Keep Me Smiling, One Day I Will Find The White Rabbit And It Will Tell Me Where To Go, I Will Get Out And Realize Everything Is Perfect.... :/

I Is New To This...

I Am New To The Blogging, So Here It Goes. I Started One Of These Things To Kill Time When I Can't Sleep, Which Is All The Time Sadly Enough, I Honestly Think It Might Kill Me One Day. I Finally Slept Tonight, From Midnight To Five AM. Woo!! Go Me. People Tell Me Its All In My Head, Or That I Have My Nights And Days Mixed Up, But It's More Than That, I Honestly Just Can't Sleep, Regardless Of How Hard I Try. :/ Well There Is The First, Expect More?